Individualism vs. Social Construction

In thinking about our class discussion last weak about social construction, I am beginning to questions the foundation of our society, and therefore the make-up of us as individuals. By today’s standards, our society, at least in America, is considered to be one that is open and accepting to choice, where we as individuals have the ability to exercise our free will. But do we really have a choice in life, or does the make up of our society pre-determine our destiny?

Take marriage, for instance, in our culture it is assumed that we as individuals want to grow up and find our “soul mate”, get married, have children, and die old together in a house surrounded by a white picket fence. This could even be referred to as a sub-section of the “American Dream”, right along with being successful in our careers and becoming disgustingly, filthy rich. Doesn’t everyone in our society want to be successful in love and marriage? And aren’t we expected to strive towards, and work hard our whole lives in the pursuit and achievement of that goal?

Even Aristophanes states in Plato’s Symposium that some men in ancient times had no personal drive or interest in the sanctuary of marriage, but were forced to conform by their society. He states, “When they are fully grown men, they are pederasts and naturally pay no attention to marriage and procreation, but are compelled to do so by the law, whereas they would be content to live unmarried with one another.” Has society even evolved from those times? It seems to me that the only progress we have made is to do away with the legalities in forcing marriage upon individuals. It’s still practically a necessity though. No one today wants to reap the repercussions of having to tell their mother that they are not getting married and bearing grandchildren simply because they don’t want to.

What about monogamy? According to Aristophanes, we as humans, under the influence of the god Eros, have only one purpose in life, that of finding our “soul mate.” He explains that, “Each of us, then, is a token of a human being, because we are sliced like files of sole, two out of one; and so each is always in search of his own token.” Men and women have never been, and still are not seen as individuals, as a complete person, but merely as one half of a whole. But what if we don’t want to spend our life looking for that one special person, destined to live out our lives in monogamy? What if we want to experience, and enjoy lots of different people in our lives?

According to society’s framework, that’s not exactly acceptable. It’s labeled promiscuous, childish, foolish, and maybe even selfish. No one may tell you it’s wrong, but it’s understood. Add the fact that you may be having same sex relations, and you’re practically an outcast of society. But how is this possible when “we” as a whole are so open minded today in our society?

In my opinion the answer is our social construction. The roots go a lot deeper than society, however, and are seeded in our basic human need to be accepted. Society plays upon that need, decides what is right and what is wrong, and waits for us as individuals to comply. Are these the limitations of our free will? Possibly. Although we as individuals can choose our path in life, won’t we always choose to fit in, be a part of, and be accepted in our society? It seems to be the natural choice to me.