Guys, get your fingers off your laptop

Naomi Wolf does a good job of stating the obvious when it comes to porn: pervasive, damaging, and demoralizing. She touched on the girl-girl kiss of Madonna and Britney and I think that deserves more analysis. How many young females have fallen in to the trap of “pretending” to be lesbians or bisexual? Why would they do it? Pornography has developed over time to give the consumer (mostly male) what they want. Guys seem to be obsessed with seeing two girls getting it on: and better yet, letting him join in. This really comes down to seeking attention. The girls have learned, through porn, what guys want, and to live up to that “fantasy” ideal, they take the porn to the dance floor or the stage at the Grammy’s. Many take it to the bedroom as well, in the name of either making a man happy or trying to get a man. What these girls don’t realize is that they have been manipulated by the porn system. If there were no men around, would they still behave this way? Would these girls go to a lesbian club where men are not welcome? Probably not.

Turn the situation around: why don’t we see two guys pretending to be bisexual to get a girl? Wouldn’t that turn on the girl—the thought of being with two guys who also want to be with one another? Why is it that more is better when it favors the male but not when it favors the female? I think that young women have taken a large step back from a feministic standpoint by letting themselves be the pawns in this gender game. Middle-aged women don’t do the whole pseudo-lesbian thing. But the older women were not raised in this porn-soaked culture. The older women still want to be attractive—the beauty myth has had an effect on them. They just do it with surgery and enhancements. But come to think of it, the young girls do that too, if they can afford it. I guess the difference is that many, if not most, older women still remember the days when society spoke of equality and liberation. It is a shame that this porn industry, run by men for men, has had this effect on the younger generation of females.

Now, women have been having surgeries and lifts for decades, so it is important to realize the difference between vanity and attention seeking. The desire to look good for yourself and a member of the opposite sex is not unhealthy within the limits of good judgment. It is when these limits are stretched and the degrading of a woman’s values occurs that the progress of feminism is halted, if not reversed. The porn industry has evolved with time, and with the internet, porn makers can get instant feedback on what sells and what does not. Porn doesn’t care about women’s self esteem, only money. The role models in porn are trying to make a buck for whatever reason without realizing what they are doing to the masses of their peers. If they were blessed with a “hot body” and an open mind sexually, these girls can make a lot of money. But since they represent a small percentage of women from a “beauty” standpoint, the masses of girls are left to believe that if they don’t measure up or are unwilling to perform like those girls, then they cannot please a man. And the men who expect this false-ideal perpetuate the cycle.

The bottom line is: Guys, get your fingers off your laptop and find a “real” girl—imperfections and all. And girls, realize that all that glitters is not gold. Those ads, movies, and models are not a true representation of reality. Be proud of what you have been given and find a man who appreciates you for what you are.